Why Smart Speakers Get Stuck

John: 00:00:00

The smarter you are, the easier it is to get stuck.

2

: 00:00:04

Not because you run out of ideas,

not because you lack ability, but

3

: 00:00:08

because the smarter you are, the better

you become at convincing yourself

4

: 00:00:13

that you're making progress, when

actually you're mostly just spending

5

: 00:00:17

time thinking about making progress.

6

: 00:00:21

Welcome to Professional Speaking.

7

: 00:00:22

My name's John Ball.

8

: 00:00:24

In this episode, I'm going to

show you something that most

9

: 00:00:27

speakers won't name directly.

10

: 00:00:29

How intelligence, identity, and

status can quietly trap you and

11

: 00:00:34

why so many speakers plateau, not

because they lack ability, but because

12

: 00:00:38

they've drifted away from reality.

13

: 00:00:41

After 15 years coaching speakers,

I've seen this pattern constantly,

14

: 00:00:46

not just in beginners starting out,

but also experienced speakers who

15

: 00:00:50

should be further ahead than they are.

16

: 00:00:53

Here's what we're going to cover,

why smart people overthink instead

17

: 00:00:57

of execute, how psychological

limiter loops can keep you stuck.

18

: 00:01:02

Why the dip challenges your identity,

not just your skill and how to

19

: 00:01:06

get back into real world momentum.

20

: 00:01:09

Sound good?

21

: 00:01:10

Let's get into it.

22

: 00:01:13

The great philosopher Bertrand Russell

once said that the trouble with the world

23

: 00:01:17

is that the stupid are cocksure, and

that the intelligent are full of doubt.

24

: 00:01:21

And if you see any truth in that

statement at all, then this is an

25

: 00:01:25

episode you probably need to listen to.

26

: 00:01:28

I want you to sit with

that for a second as well.

27

: 00:01:31

Intelligence gives you awareness.

28

: 00:01:33

It gives you nuance.

29

: 00:01:35

It gives you the ability to see around

corners, but it also gives you doubt.

30

: 00:01:41

And if you're not careful, that

doubt becomes hesitation and

31

: 00:01:44

the hesitation becomes inaction.

32

: 00:01:48

So here's the pattern I

see over and over again.

33

: 00:01:51

Has anyone ever told you

that you overthink things?

34

: 00:01:55

I've heard it a few times.

35

: 00:01:56

You may have dismissed it,

but what if they were right?

36

: 00:01:59

And what if you couldn't see it yourself?

37

: 00:02:01

Precisely because you're smart.

38

: 00:02:04

A psychological limit to loop is when

your mind creates a self-reinforcing

39

: 00:02:09

cycle that keeps you feeling productive

while actually keeping you stuck.

40

: 00:02:14

And it looks a bit like this.

41

: 00:02:16

I just need to refine this a bit more.

42

: 00:02:19

Okay, so you delay action.

43

: 00:02:21

No real feedback comes in.

44

: 00:02:23

Uncertainty increases.

45

: 00:02:25

So you refine some more.

46

: 00:02:27

Now from the inside,

this feels like thinking.

47

: 00:02:30

It feels like you're busy taking action,

but from the outside it's avoidance.

48

: 00:02:36

And then comes the wall.

49

: 00:02:38

Your mind isn't just slowing you

down, it's building a wall between

50

: 00:02:42

you and feedback between you and

visibility between you and reality.

51

: 00:02:49

Doubt hardens into a loop.

52

: 00:02:51

The loop over time builds the

wall, and once that wall is

53

: 00:02:55

up, this stops being progress.

54

: 00:02:58

It becomes a mental exercise.

55

: 00:03:00

In fact, when you start to butt

against that wall, you may even

56

: 00:03:06

find yourself experiencing some

physical symptoms, headaches, brain

57

: 00:03:11

fog, eye strain, that all feel very

real and stop you moving forward.

58

: 00:03:19

Now I want to make

something very clear here.

59

: 00:03:21

This isn't just a problem for

people at the start of their

60

: 00:03:24

journey, not just for beginners.

61

: 00:03:26

New speakers hesitate often

because they lack experience.

62

: 00:03:29

Experienced speakers hesitate because

they have something to protect.

63

: 00:03:35

At the start, you're afraid of failing.

64

: 00:03:37

Later, you're afraid of not being as

good as you were or think you should

65

: 00:03:41

be, and that's a different kind

of fear and it's harder to admit.

66

: 00:03:46

From the outside, it doesn't

look like fear at all.

67

: 00:03:50

It looks like standards.

68

: 00:03:51

It looks like professionalism,

and it looks like craft.

69

: 00:03:56

But if your standards are keeping

you invisible, keeping you off the

70

: 00:04:01

stage, keeping you from getting

booked, they're protecting you,

71

: 00:04:05

but they're not serving you.

72

: 00:04:07

Now, Seth Godin calls the hard middle of

any journey The Dip, the place where it

73

: 00:04:11

gets difficult before it gets rewarding.

74

: 00:04:15

But here's what he didn't say.

75

: 00:04:16

Well, at least not directly

for speakers, the dip isn't

76

: 00:04:20

where your ability gets tested.

77

: 00:04:21

It is where your self

image gets challenged.

78

: 00:04:25

That dow, that Bertrand

Russell talked about.

79

: 00:04:29

It peaks right here.

80

: 00:04:30

In the dip, you're not just

asking, am I good enough?

81

: 00:04:34

You are asking, am I who I think I am?

82

: 00:04:38

And that question is much

harder to answer with action.

83

: 00:04:46

Let me be direct with you here.

84

: 00:04:47

You've got potential, you've got

ideas, you've got capability, but

85

: 00:04:51

potential doesn't pay the bills.

86

: 00:04:53

Bookings do.

87

: 00:04:56

At some point, you have to

stop perfecting the fantasy

88

: 00:04:59

and start building the reality.

89

: 00:05:03

Now, I very nearly never got up on a stage

to do any kind of standup comedy and open

90

: 00:05:09

mic, even though it has been a dream, a

bucket list item for such a long time.

91

: 00:05:16

I thought I would do a comedy

course at some point, and then

92

: 00:05:20

I'd have to do that performance.

93

: 00:05:21

They'd do it at the end of the course,

and then it just never seemed like the

94

: 00:05:25

right time to do it, or I'd have to

travel too far or be away from home for

95

: 00:05:28

too long, or money wasn't there for it.

96

: 00:05:31

There would always be some reason

not to do it, and I never did.

97

: 00:05:36

Then I got introduced to Judy Carter's

book the new Comedy Bible, and started

98

: 00:05:41

to learn the structure of jokes.

99

: 00:05:42

I said I was obsessed.

100

: 00:05:43

I really wanted to get that stuff,

even if it was just to make some

101

: 00:05:47

of my speaking a bit funnier.

102

: 00:05:50

But the more I got into that,

the more I realized I wanted

103

: 00:05:53

to be getting up on stage.

104

: 00:05:55

I wanted to do open mic

comedy, particularly.

105

: 00:06:01

So when a friend told me that there was

actually an open mic scene in my city,

106

: 00:06:07

I thought, oh, great, I'll do that.

107

: 00:06:09

And I kept saying, oh yeah, I'm

interested, but you know, maybe I

108

: 00:06:13

time I'll go and check it out first.

109

: 00:06:15

I think that's what I said for

about six months or a year maybe.

110

: 00:06:19

And my friend kept saying,

you should just go and do it.

111

: 00:06:23

So I did.

112

: 00:06:25

I, one day I had, I had just interviewed

Judy Carter for this show . And

113

: 00:06:32

was so inspired by my conversation

with her that I contacted the guy

114

: 00:06:37

who organized those events and

put my name down for the next one.

115

: 00:06:41

Big Scary Action.

116

: 00:06:43

But it pushed me to creating my first

comedy set and to doing my first ever

117

: 00:06:48

open mic night, and I'm so glad I did it.

118

: 00:06:52

There were so many times in life where

we can stop ourselves from moving forward

119

: 00:06:56

with the things that can progress us just

because we're worried that we might bomb.

120

: 00:07:01

That we might suck, that we might not

be as funny as we think we're gonna

121

: 00:07:04

be, or we might not have the charisma

or presence or response that we think

122

: 00:07:08

we're gonna get, and not everything

you do is going to be well received.

123

: 00:07:13

That's just a fact of life.

124

: 00:07:15

I can remember a point in my

own journey where I had been

125

: 00:07:18

refining a keynote for months.

126

: 00:07:20

I wanted better slides, better

stories, better positioning.

127

: 00:07:25

But then someone asked me, when

did you last speak to a re that

128

: 00:07:27

you weren't already comfortable in?

129

: 00:07:30

And I didn't have an answer for that

because I realized I wasn't refining,.

130

: 00:07:35

I was hiding.

131

: 00:07:36

And the wall I thought was protecting

my standards was actually just

132

: 00:07:41

keeping me away from the one

thing that would've improved them.

133

: 00:07:45

A dose of reality.

134

: 00:07:48

So how do you get out?

135

: 00:07:50

Well, five things here, and

they build on each other.

136

: 00:07:52

So take notes.

137

: 00:07:55

Firstly, reconnect with reality.

138

: 00:07:57

You don't improve.

139

: 00:07:59

In theory, you improve in

contact with the real world.

140

: 00:08:04

That means that real audiences, real

feedbacks, real rooms are what you need.

141

: 00:08:08

Not better preparation, more exposure.

142

: 00:08:12

Secondly, shorten the loop.

143

: 00:08:13

The loop survives on a delay.

144

: 00:08:16

So cut the delay, speak more, test

faster, get reactions, not opinions.

145

: 00:08:22

An opinion is what someone

tells you after the fact.

146

: 00:08:25

The reaction is what happens in the room.

147

: 00:08:27

Certainly see that much more

clearly in standup comedy.

148

: 00:08:30

But one of these is useful.

149

: 00:08:31

One is just data.

150

: 00:08:34

Thirdly, lower the exposure threshold.

151

: 00:08:37

Stop trying to show your best work

and start showing your current work.

152

: 00:08:41

Allow things to be in process, in

development whilst they're interacting

153

: 00:08:46

with the outside world as well.

154

: 00:08:48

Your best work is the enemy of your

next step because best work requires

155

: 00:08:53

certainty, and you can only get certainty

from being out there and doing it.

156

: 00:09:00

Number four is knock the wall down.

157

: 00:09:02

If your mind has built a wall between

you and reality where you are more

158

: 00:09:06

comfortable imagining doing all these

things, rather than actually doing

159

: 00:09:11

them, your job is to knock it down.

160

: 00:09:14

Not carefully, not strategically.

161

: 00:09:17

And get a bulldozer.

162

: 00:09:18

Get a wrecking ball.

163

: 00:09:20

Knock it down.

164

: 00:09:22

Book the talk, send the pitch.

165

: 00:09:24

Get in the room before you feel ready.

166

: 00:09:28

You may not even know what you want to

call your workshop yet, but offer it.

167

: 00:09:31

You may only have an abstract for

your talk, but start selling it.

168

: 00:09:35

Get yourself out there, get

pitching and get booked.

169

: 00:09:40

Number five then is act before certainty.

170

: 00:09:42

Clarity.

171

: 00:09:44

Isn't a prerequisite is a byproduct.

172

: 00:09:46

You will develop it.

173

: 00:09:48

You will not think your way into momentum.

174

: 00:09:51

But when you are there, it's an incredibly

powerful force and really the only

175

: 00:09:56

thing that's gonna allow you to get into

flow and real presence, you will act

176

: 00:10:01

your way there, as in taking action.

177

: 00:10:04

The speakers who move forward

fastest are rarely the most prepared.

178

: 00:10:10

They're the most exposed.

179

: 00:10:13

Most speakers don't

have a speaking problem.

180

: 00:10:15

They have a distance from reality problem.

181

: 00:10:19

They're refining, thinking, preparing, but

they're not engaging with the one thing

182

: 00:10:23

that actually improves their speaking.

183

: 00:10:26

Reality.

184

: 00:10:28

If you recognized anything of yourself

in this, if you know you've been

185

: 00:10:33

holding yourself back, if you've got

the ability, but not the momentum.

186

: 00:10:38

Then it might be time to stop trying to

solve this problem alone, because from the

187

: 00:10:42

inside, this doesn't feel like avoidance.

188

: 00:10:45

It feels like thinking.

189

: 00:10:46

You feel busy and surely

busy leads to results.

190

: 00:10:50

Well, actually, no, not always.

191

: 00:10:53

And that's exactly what makes it so hard

to escape without outside perspective.

192

: 00:10:59

If you want help breaking outta that loop

and turning your speaking into something

193

: 00:11:03

that actually creates demand and not just

potential, you can book a call with me.

194

: 00:11:07

The link is in the description.

195

: 00:11:09

There's no expectations

and no commitments.

196

: 00:11:12

My goal will be to help get you

on the right track, whether that's

197

: 00:11:15

working with me in the future or

not, that would get you moving.

198

: 00:11:20

That's really what I want for you,

and I hope that that's what you want

199

: 00:11:24

for yourself, that's it for today.

200

: 00:11:26

Wherever you're going, whatever you're

doing, have an amazing rest of your day.

201

: 00:11:30

See you next time.