Before You Speak: The Pre-Game Rituals That Actually Work

John: 00:00:00

Here's the problem.

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What you do in the 10 to 30

minutes before you speak can

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make or break the whole thing.

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Yet most speakers either wing it or over

hack themselves or fall into superstition.

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Here's my promise to you today, I'll

give you a practical pregame system

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You can actually use no rabbit's, feet,

no power poses unless you want to.

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Just approval ways to get your mind,

body, and message ready to show up.

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Calm, confident, and connected.

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Welcome to present Influence the

show for professional speakers

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who want their communication to

impact, influence, and inspire.

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I'm John Ball, keynote coach and

professional speaker and your

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guide on this journey to a mastery

level communication skills.

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too many speakers treat the pre-game

as optional and then wonder why they

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feel shaky once they're on stage.

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And I've done it myself and I've

always regretted it when I have,

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think of it like a pilots checklist.

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If you skip this, then you're

gonna risk a bit of turbulence.

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A bit of a bumpy ride.

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So I'm gonna share a quick story of

when my own pre-game went wrong and how

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one tiny adjustment changed everything.

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Now, my first time doing open mic comedy,

I've wanted to do it for years, but

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never really, never really had the nerve.

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I was terrified of it.

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I was.

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Really too scared of that

vulnerability of putting yourself

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on a stage in the hopes of being

funny and then bombing out big time.

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The shame and the self-criticism that

would follow something like that might

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just shred my confidence completely.

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If there's any one way I

could get myself to do it.

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I gave myself permission to bomb badly.

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The biggest win would no longer be

getting the laughs, but just getting

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up on that stage on the open mic and

sure laughs would be really nice.

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And so many people had come to support

me that I didn't want to let them down.

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But I also knew I didn't

have to be funny for that.

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They were there to support

me no matter what happened.

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When I lowered the stakes for myself,

the nerves mostly disappeared.

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Did I still stumble a bit on stage?

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Trying to remember myself?

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Yeah, I did.

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Did it matter?

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Well, not so much did I get some

laughs I did and it was amazing.

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But I don't think I could have

done that if I'd needed to get

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those laughs to feel successful.

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It may also have helped that the

two acts on before me both bombed,

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so the bar was set pretty low.

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That certainly worked in my favor.

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Your brain can turn into a

saboteur right before you speak.

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It can start your thoughts.

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Racing, escape, fantasy.

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Shall I make a run for it?

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The field imposter syndrome.

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Am I good enough?

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Can I do this?

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You can restate your state

in under two minutes.

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I'll show you how stoic reframing a visual

exercise, a simple breathing pattern

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and a nerve to energy reframe can shift

your head space from panic to presence.

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So think of this as espresso for

your confidence without the shakes.

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This is the mental setup that

I go through before a keynote

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or a workshop to start this.

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Lower your ego.

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Ego is your enemy.

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Remind yourself, this is not about me.

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I am not what's important here.

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It's about the message.

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It's about the audience.

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Be here for your audience.

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Then you can try something called box

breathing, and you may have come across

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this before, and it's really simple.

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It's breathing in through your

nose for four seconds, holding the

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breath for six seconds, and then

breathing out for eight seconds.

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Now, it doesn't have to be exact seconds.

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You can count those numbers in your

head at whatever speed you wanna go,

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but it is that thing of having the

breathe in for four, hold for six,

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breathe out for eight, will help you.

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Now, there are many

different variations on this.

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If you practice something similar, a

little differently, count on doing that.

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You do not have to implement

exactly this, but this is the

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simplest method for box breathing.

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There's alternate nostril breathing if

you want to try all that kind of stuff.

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So like yoga kind of breathing.

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If you have knowledge and insight

that by all means, use those instead.

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The other trick to use

here is peripheral vision.

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A peripheral focus.

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And this is something that really just

shifts your way from being focused in

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singularly on one particular thing.

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Like right now, I am looking very directly

at my camera at you, and I'm also.

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In peripheral vision, which

means I can kind of see what's

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going on at the side of me.

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And one of the ways you can check in on

that is, is holding your hand by your

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head and wiggling your fingers or trying

to see what's on the wall or what's in

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the surroundings to the side of you.

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And it starts to shift you out

of what we call direct focus or,

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foveal vision into peripheral focus.

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And this.

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Does help to relax.

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You see if you can stay in peripheral

vision, it's a good thing to

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practice for the whole of your talk.

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It will mean that you'll take in much

more of how your audience is responding

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and reacting, and you're less likely

to feel nervous you're just less likely

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to be experiencing any intense emotions

whilst you are in peripheral vision.

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So give it a try.

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Now, the final part of this is to

remind yourself that your nervous

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feeling is physiologically exactly

the same as feeling excitement.

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Listen to the recent episode with

Rebecca Williams where she talks exactly

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about this and why that is the case.

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So instead choose to be excited.

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Recognize that feeling and say,

right, maybe I can just decide

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that that is excitement rather than

fear because it feels the same.

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How do I know that it's not?

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It could be excitement.

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So which is the more attractive

emotion to feel nervous or excited?

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I'd go with excited.

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That choice when I made it for

myself, is the thing that led me

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to falling in love with speaking

and presenting and getting excited.

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Generally now feeling excited when I get.

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On a stage.

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So try a two minute reset

before your next talk.

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Go through that Stoic practice

of reminding yourself that it's

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not about your ego, it's about

your message and your audience.

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Put yourself into peripheral vision.

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Spend a minute or so doing box

breathing, maybe just three or five

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cycles of breathing with box breathing,

and then reframe your nerves as

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excitement and see how that feels.

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A common issue with speakers about to go

on stage is that dry throat, the stiff

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shoulders, and the unwarmed voice that

can make you sound flat or strained.

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Simple physical resets will make your

voice stronger and your presence grounded.

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And I encourage you to check out the

episode that I did not that long ago with

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Jimmy Cannon Voice Coach, amazing guy.

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Gives us some great vocal exercises,

some great ways to think about

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your voice and how you sound and

that you can definitely implement.

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But let's give you something simple here.

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So I'm gonna share with you the

quickest warmups that I know.

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They don't make you look

ridiculous backstage.

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Well, maybe one of 'em a little

bit, but they'll keep your voice

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from crackling on the opening line.

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So I say check out the episode with

Jimmy Cannon, but one of the simplest

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vocal exercises you could do is kind

of just humming and humming up and

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down the vocal range and trying to

make that hum as smooth as possible.

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Now, if you are not too shy, if you

don't mind people thinking might be a

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bit silly, try and add into the hum,

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a bit of a blowing raspberry with your

lips or your lips together and your.

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Blowing them in the raspy sound.

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It won't sound funny or sound a bit like.

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It's not a nice noise.

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But going up and down your vocal

range with that and smoothing that

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out as much as possible is going

to help you warm up your voice.

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Now of course, you probably do want to

make sure you have some water available.

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Ideally, room temperature

rather than cold, which might

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just affect your voice more.

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So that's a good thing to have as well.

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I also kind of like.

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Licorice tea.

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I find that, licorice tea or those

licorice tabs you can get, to be

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careful with tabs 'cause they can make

some of them make your tongue black.

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But licorice in itself can be a great

thing for helping to soothe your voice and

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give you a little bit of vocal resonance.

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So I do highly recommend that.

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One vocal warmup is probably enough.

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Licorice, if you want

to add that in there.

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Power poses.

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I don't care about those.

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I mean, they're, if they help you or

they make you feel good, then great.

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I've tried them.

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It honestly does nothing.

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For me, the evidence of power poses

working is not conclusive, unfortunately.

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But I would say this, if it helps

you to stand like Superman or Wonder

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Woman in a big power pose and you feel

good for that, go ahead and do it.

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But the posture that I

do think you should do.

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Something we'll call presenter stance.

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So you want your feet for

this, shoulder width apart.

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And shoulder width is generally,

usually not as far as you think it is.

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So it should be in line, feet in line

with your shoulders as best you can.

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And facing forward.

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You want your knees, your

legs straight, but not locked.

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You don't want your knees locked up here.

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So you wanna keep a fairly loose posture

always by your side and head up straight.

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Now it might.

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Feel a little unnatural because we're

very used to often having our hands

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by our side or talking with our hands,

and you can still do that, but it's

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gonna come from the size of your body.

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You're gonna maybe start your first

line in that posture with your hands by

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your body, and so you can practice that

whilst you're doing your vocal warmups.

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The more we practice these things,

the more likely we are to do them

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when we're on the stage as well.

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So nice and simple more

than anything else.

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One simple vocal warm up.

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Standing presenter starts,

give yourself a posture check.

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You are good to go.

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Now sometimes the message is the problem.

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And, one common mistake that speakers

make is trying to cram in the wings.

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So whilst you're backstage, you're trying

to go through your whole talk and that's

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a lot of pressure to put on yourself.

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You're gonna ramp up your nerves

whilst you're doing that particularly,

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and especially if there's a bit

that you just can't remember.

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So it can also lead to things coming

out a little robotic as you're trying

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to remember, line by line perhaps.

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Having a whole talk memorized is

generally not the best idea anyway.

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You wanna be able to still sound natural

while you're speaking and presenting.

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So whilst you may, to some degree follow

a script, you also want to have the

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flexibility to talk around it as well.

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You should know.

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Your subject matter, your stories and

everything else going into your talk

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reasonably well anyway, to be able to not

need it to be exactly as you wrote it.

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But you wanted to still follow

the pathway that you take.

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The key beats of your talk are the

most important part, and certainly

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many people will say this just to make

sure the bits that you do memorize

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are your opening and your closing.

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Once you've got those, everything in

between is more likely to flow you.

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You know you're gonna open strong,

and you'll know you're gonna close

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strong, and you can practice those bits

to make them as natural as possible.

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So if you're gonna practice

anything backstage, I would

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say practice your opening.

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Maybe you're closing as well,

but definitely your opening

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if you're gonna practice that.

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However, it could actually be just as

good, and it may be even more beneficial

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to have something more like a set list.

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Comedians have a set list.

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When they go on stage, they know

what they're gonna be leading into.

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From here to there and so on.

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So what's the first bit

I'm gonna talk about?

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What's the next bit I'm gonna talk about?

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It could just be a word or a phrase or

a sentence that reminds you, all right.

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That's what this part of the talk is.

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It gives you a lot more confidence.

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I've seen, I know, and I do know speakers

who will have essentially their set

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list on the stage, take to the floor in

front of them so that they don't have

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to go to a podium or they don't have

to pull a card out of their pocket.

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That set list is there.

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Or it might be on a.

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Teleprompter for them as well,

if they're working with that.

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And they don't want a full on

script 'cause they want to be

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more natural and improvised.

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So if you're gonna memorize,

memorize your opening and closing

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and have your set list, have your

run list for what you're gonna talk

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about, available to you as well.

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So you just have the key beats there.

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let me explain why.

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Why rehearsing your wedding vows

in the taxi is a terrible idea

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and what you should do instead.

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So look, I don't think

cramming is ever a good idea.

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It doesn't really tend to work too well.

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You might get away with it once

in a while, but it suggests that

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you haven't fully prepared and

that really is the issue here.

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I'd much rather you do that

than no preparation at all,

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but it's still not great.

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Cramming the night before

an exam isn't great.

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It might get you through the exam,

but how much better could you do if

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you were fully prepared and relaxed?

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I will tell you this, my experience of

cramming in my degree was nightmare-ish

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because when it came to my final

exams for my degree, I was a wreck.

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I wasn't sleeping well, I was cramming

too much information in, and I knew

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I could have done so much better

if I really just had put more work

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into being prepared for those exams.

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It's the same with your talks.

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If you don't practice and prepare

fully, and not just on the day or

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just before then you are not prepared.

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You must consider your practice time,

your preparation time to be just as

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important as the actual performance.

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These are a part of the performance.

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These are the, maybe in terms of an

iceberg, the bits that are underwater,

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bits that the audience don't see.

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You audience get to see the iceberg,

your performance, but all the

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preparation, the pre-time, the putting

stuff together, the rehearsals, the

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whatever run-throughs you're doing,

that's all part of the iceberg.

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The stuff that the audience just

don't ever get to see, but it's

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the biggest part of the work.

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Your talk or your keynote, you know,

might, your talk might be by day you

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doing Toastmasters, five to eight minutes.

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If you're doing something a

bit bit bigger, it might be

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10 minutes, 15, 20 keynotes.

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Generally around 30, 45, 60 minutes or so.

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That's a long time to be on stage,

but it's not nearly as long as the

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time you should have spent preparing.

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If you don't practice, you

haven't really put in the work.

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You're just showing up

and winging it really.

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Okay.

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You may not be improvising the whole

thing, but you are putting extra

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pressure on yourself to deliver something

that you haven't really prepared for.

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Your delivery is gonna be much better

and more natural when you are practiced.

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Your comfort level is gonna be

much better when you know that

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you know your material and.

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Your audience is going

to sense this as well.

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So whilst you might get away with it, you

will know that you could have done better.

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If you are still getting, could do

better on your internal report card,

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it's time to fix that and know that you

can do better and you will do better

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by committing yourself to preparing

thoroughly for your presentation.

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You don't need to over rehearse.

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You just need to rehearse practice

to the point where you know that

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you know it, where it's kind of

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in you, it is part of you.

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You can't really forget it because

you've been through it so many times.

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It does not need to be

verbatim, of course.

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It really just needs to be so well

practiced that it's gonna be natural

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for you because practice will come as

you deliver your talk more and more.

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But in the early days of doing

that, without the practice and

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preparation, it's going to be,

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it can be hard.

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You are just making life harder for

yourself, and I do think it's that thing

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that it always feels like is boring.

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It's not the sexy part of presenting.

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You just wanna be out there doing your

talk on your presentation, getting

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the applause or whatever else, getting

the sales for your product or service,

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whatever else you might be offering.

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Those are the fun and the sexy

and exciting parts of speaking.

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The stuff that isn't so sexy or exciting

is the prospecting, is the follow up

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calls, the CRM, the personal reviews or

the event reviews the calendar management,

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the travel plans, and the preparation

and rehearsal time for your talk.

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These are much less fun, but they're

super critical for you to have

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success as a speaker or presenter.

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not all rituals are gonna help.

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Some are just gonna disguise your

anxiety and some are just pointless.

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So spotting the traps can save

you from draining your energy

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before you've even begun.

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So let me reveal three pregame

mistakes that do more harm than

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good and how to avoid them.

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Overwarming up.

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Big problem.

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: 00:17:06

If you are warming up your voice

in your body until you actually

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feel exhausted, not great.

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: 00:17:11

Now, I do have, a playlist that I can know

if I have time and this right environment.

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I can pop my earbuds in, pop

my pre-stage playlist on.

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: 00:17:20

And it's all stuff that's help helping

me to increase my energy, to turn

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: 00:17:25

on my energy, not to be ridiculously

high energy, but just to get to a good

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: 00:17:30

energy level that I know I'm gonna

feel good out going out on stage.

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: 00:17:34

I want it still to feel natural, but I

want to be pump up because I know that

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my energy, my emotional state, which

I can manage is going to be leading

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the emotional state of the audience.

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It's very important that I get myself

into the emotional state that I want

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my audience to experience as well, so

that I can help to lead them there.

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Word for word rehearsal as well.

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: 00:17:58

Avoid it.

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: 00:17:58

Avoid it because especially at the last

minute, it's just gonna mess you up.

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: 00:18:03

It's especially being, oh,

I didn't remember that bit.

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: 00:18:05

You will wind yourself up even further

and probably struggle to remember.

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: 00:18:10

'cause you're gonna go, what did I write?

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: 00:18:12

What did I write?

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: 00:18:13

That's what's gonna be coming up in your

head rather than just, alright, let's

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: 00:18:16

find another way of saying this because

I can't remember exactly how I wrote it.

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: 00:18:19

And that would also be fine.

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: 00:18:21

No one will notice.

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You can take the pause, think about

what comes next, remind yourself of your

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mental playlist of what you just said.

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: 00:18:30

And then carry on forward.

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: 00:18:32

You can take 30 seconds or more

as a pause if you really need to.

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: 00:18:37

Your audience will stay with you.

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: 00:18:38

They will give you benefit.

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: 00:18:39

But if you start to panic, if you start

to get yourself caught up in your, oh

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: 00:18:43

my goodness, I can't remember a thing.

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: 00:18:45

You're gonna stay stuck in that

and you might end up having to

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: 00:18:47

stop the presentation altogether.

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: 00:18:49

I've seen that happen.

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: 00:18:50

Or you might just end

up running off stage.

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: 00:18:53

I've also seen that happen.

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: 00:18:55

Skipping post-game reflection is gonna

mean that you never really improve your

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pre-game, so we must always look at how

we got on reflection review are really

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: 00:19:06

important parts of the process for you.

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: 00:19:09

You're gonna get feedback and you're

gonna want it from your audience,

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: 00:19:11

ideally from your bookers, from

whoever else is involved in the event.

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: 00:19:15

Get as much feedback as you possibly can.

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: 00:19:18

Hopefully it's gonna be great feedback

'cause you've done all these things to

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prepare yourself and you are good to go.

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: 00:19:23

But if, but if it's not, it's potentially

gonna help you to develop and grow.

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: 00:19:29

But the feedback that you give to

yourself is even more important.

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: 00:19:33

So it can be great, especially in

earlier days of speaking, to record your

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presentations, to record your talks.

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: 00:19:40

Not only does that potentially give

you material for your demo videos,

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: 00:19:44

which is, really good to have.

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: 00:19:46

It also gives you the opportunity

to watch yourself back, to get used

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: 00:19:50

to the sound of your own voice,

to how you look on stage and to be

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: 00:19:54

able to see, do I look all right?

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: 00:19:56

Am I doing weird hand gestures?

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: 00:19:58

How's my voice sounding?

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: 00:19:59

Is my intonation right?

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: 00:20:00

What's my energy like throughout this?

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: 00:20:03

You may not be able to give yourself a

fully detached view of your performance,

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: 00:20:08

but you will have some level of that just

by being able to watch yourself back.

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: 00:20:13

Very different to trying to

rehearse in the mirror, which

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: 00:20:15

I've heard people suggest that.

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: 00:20:16

I hate that as advice.

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: 00:20:17

Never practice in a mirror.

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: 00:20:19

You're never gonna have that on stage and

you're gonna be distracted by silly things

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: 00:20:23

whilst you are rehearsing your talk.

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: 00:20:26

So please don't do that.

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: 00:20:28

But, it's a good idea to get used to

hearing the sound of your voice, to

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: 00:20:32

seeing yourself on camera, because

whilst they can feel uncomfortable,

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: 00:20:37

robbers don't like looking at ourselves

or hearing our voices initially.

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: 00:20:41

You do get over it.

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: 00:20:42

You do with repetition, move past

it, it becomes irrelevant and.

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: 00:20:47

Just get used to it.

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: 00:20:48

It becomes normal for you.

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: 00:20:50

It might not be right now, but when

it is, you'll know that that's a

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: 00:20:54

good thing to get over because it

is one of the things that sometimes

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: 00:20:58

stops people from moving forward.

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: 00:21:01

So, reflect, and review for

yourself more than anything else.

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: 00:21:05

So by now you've got the principles

and here's the completely stripped

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: 00:21:10

down version that you can steal.

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: 00:21:11

So before your next talk test,

this three step ritual, two minute

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: 00:21:17

breathing and posture reset.

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: 00:21:19

So your box breathing and

your presenter stance.

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: 00:21:22

One short vocal warmup.

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: 00:21:24

So you're humming.

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: 00:21:25

It could be you're humming

with the bur sound, though.

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: 00:21:27

Raspberry blank.

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: 00:21:29

Rehearse.

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: 00:21:29

Only your opening.

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: 00:21:31

Maybe your closing as well,

but only really your opening.

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: 00:21:34

If you've got that, you are good to start.

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: 00:21:36

You're getting the momentum, so try

it and you will feel the difference

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: 00:21:41

before you even hit the stage.

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: 00:21:44

So there you have it.

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: 00:21:45

A simple pre-game system

that actually works.

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: 00:21:48

Now, the problem that most speakers

face is that they either do too many

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: 00:21:52

of these things or none of them at all.

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: 00:21:55

So the promise is simple

and the premise as well.

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: 00:21:58

If you manage your mind, body, and

message in these crucial minutes, you're

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: 00:22:02

gonna walk out and present confidently

and ready to connect with your audience.

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: 00:22:08

So next time on Present Influence, I'm

gonna be speaking with Joel Benge, and

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: 00:22:12

joel is an expert on Message Mastery and

he helps people in the tech world to be

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: 00:22:17

able to talk good as his words, not mine.

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: 00:22:21

Next solo episode though I'll be taking

a look at the ethics of influence

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: 00:22:25

and the tricky line between genuine

credibility and manufactured status.

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: 00:22:30

So that's one you won't want to miss.

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: 00:22:32

Follow the show to get new

episodes as they're released.

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: 00:22:35

If you want the visuals, extras, and

behind the scenes content that I can't

425

: 00:22:38

squeeze into the podcast, head over to

my YouTube channel Present Influence.

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: 00:22:43

Thanks for listening, and

I'll see you next time.